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JulianAmici
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:19 pm

Story looks good. FYI, in the second post you still have Julian in there instead of Marc.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:26 pm

OK we have a new scene and wonder of wonders it actually follows the one previously posted!!! Woot! cheers

I am trying to make edits in the main Word Doc as I go. I don't think I'll actually be making changes to the posts here.

Also, I know everyone will be Dragon*con-ing, but we will be firing up the grill about 1 on Monday, and will be hanging out all day. (realizing that we are out of the way for most of you) If you feel like detouring on the way home please come see us.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Fri Sep 02, 2011 6:51 am

We need a "like" button. Exclamation I'll use the exclamation point emoticon instead.

The back half of that scene was really good, Liv. You nailed that one, mounted the head, and hung it in your trophy room. I think I mighta got somethin' in my eye... Sad pirat clown
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:32 am

Why thank you, sir.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:46 pm

I'm on a ROLL! cheers

OK I think I'm going to make this part of the prologue. in the Word doc i added the date. 9/14/09

I have another big scene written, but i need to sit and type it up.


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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:09 pm

OK. Part one of a big scene in the Fae Court is up. My biggest question is did i over describe?

Next Question is: Would you lkike me to Re post everythign I have in Chronological leaving empty posts for things that come in between?

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:44 am

When speaking of the smell of something it's "SCENT" not "sent". Also you spelled "BRAKE" where you meant "BREAK".

Reorganizing in chronological order is something that you should do, even if you leave placeholder posts for later filling.
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:23 am

Jase already caught that when he did edits.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:01 pm

OK. Now in story order.

Also, I have already plugged in Jason's edits (most of them anyway) and so please let me know if you see any glaring issues.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Mon Nov 07, 2011 2:42 pm

Ok fans(all two of you) I do have more story. It's still in bits and pieces in notebooks and on the
Tablet. I will try to get it all types up and put up here one day this week. Provided my schedule stays the same for a few minutes.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Mon Nov 07, 2011 2:49 pm

Hey! I'm a fan too, I just usually don't have as much to add. And well, for all his faults, Steven at least posts his! *glares the breaks into laughter*

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"Be strong and do as you will. The swords of others will set you your limits." (Marauders of Gor, p.10)

After the lights go out on you/After your worthless life is through/I will remember how you scream
I can't afford to care/I can't afford to care ("Lights Out" Breaking Benjamin)
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:52 pm

I'm not sure, but I think Pat might've just complimented me. It's such a rare thing that I don't know if I'd recognize it or not... ;-)
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:26 pm

Ok. I have posted everything I have on the story that is typed. and since holidays are coming up, don't expect any more until after January 7.

I have more written, I just haven't typed it up yet.

I promise I have not abandoned this. I just have to do it in three minute intervals once a week. which makes it hard to get things done.

So please, even you Lurkers tell me what you think, especially since much of Chapter two is now part of chapter one. and Chapter two all takes place in the Fae Realms.

My big question for Chapter 2 is did I get too descriptive and wordy?

Thanks for the patience.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Wed Nov 23, 2011 1:47 am

One minor nitpick, and I'm surprised you haven't caught this:

Prologue:
They will actually have to perform the right itself.

That would be rite, not right

Chapter Six:
“Ronnie? Ronnie, it’s Ty. I’m not coming in, but you need to answer me. Do you know where you are?”

Shouldn't that be Marc, not Ty?

Having read through everything you have so far I have to say AWESOME!

And no, Chapter 2 isn't too descriptive. You're portraying fae architectural beauty, fae physical beauty and their fearsome and awesome presence, AND raging fae emotions. You did alright.

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"Be strong and do as you will. The swords of others will set you your limits." (Marauders of Gor, p.10)

After the lights go out on you/After your worthless life is through/I will remember how you scream
I can't afford to care/I can't afford to care ("Lights Out" Breaking Benjamin)
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:04 pm

Gideon Shaw wrote:
I'm not sure, but I think Pat might've just complimented me. It's such a rare thing that I don't know if I'd recognize it or not... ;-)
Whatever, you get complimented enough. Your ego is big enough it doesn't need fed THAT often. Smile

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"Be strong and do as you will. The swords of others will set you your limits." (Marauders of Gor, p.10)

After the lights go out on you/After your worthless life is through/I will remember how you scream
I can't afford to care/I can't afford to care ("Lights Out" Breaking Benjamin)
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Wed Nov 23, 2011 10:04 pm

I was talking to Mom, and I'd sent a copy of the story to my older sister, and Mom was telling me that the last time she'd talked to her, Beth was going on about how much she'd enjoyed my story and how good it was, and it was getting embarrassing, but the gist was that Mom was wondering how close we are to getting fully published.

The answer is pretty darn nearly there, and Olivia deserves the credit.

Now, she needs to do an Olivia to herself and publish this story.

Oh, also, when she dropped off the proof with me at work today, we both bragged on the ever insightful and thoughtful critiques that The Pat drops on us.
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Thu Nov 24, 2011 1:00 am

I have to finish writing it first.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:59 pm

Ok. I managed to get a scene types before grandma went home. I'm hoping to get it uploaded in the next 24 hours. I'll post again when I get it up. It will be in chapter 3.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:34 pm

So as not to ruin the rest of the story for myself, I stopped at ch. 3. So, just waiting for you to fill in the gaps, Liv.

My nitpick is Ronnie's little flashback, the centering made it very difficult to read. I had to copy and paste it to another document so that I could read it properly.

One other thing: if your world is separate from my world, would the good guys still be the Washington Program? Just a thought.
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:38 pm

I wondered about that too. I decided to steal a concept from Dr Who. Somethings in time are fixed. The attempted assassination of Washington being one of those things. I thought about just cling it the Program.

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:17 pm

The Washington Agency, maybe?
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Tue Nov 29, 2011 9:39 pm

Maybe. I also considered the idea of making it the Washington group or bureau but nothing seems to flow right. I considred naming at afer anothr person or just "the Program".

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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:07 am

Ok, i got it it's The Washington Defensive Corps. And for reasons known only to the mists of time it's caled The Program.


And the teams are Special Cirumstances Response Teams or SCRT.


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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Wed Nov 30, 2011 4:43 pm

Ronnie Dolan wrote:
Ok, i got it it's The Washington Defensive Corps. And for reasons known only to the mists of time it's caled The Program.


And the teams are Special Cirumstances Response Teams or SCRT.


Nice. I like it.

Oh, and Olga wanted me to ask if Ronnie Dolan is seeing anybody?
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PostSubject: Re: Broken Mirrors Discussion   Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:00 pm

Not at the moment, but it w I'll change. I just havent decided when or with whom.

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